365 Days…perhaps even longer..i can’t seem to recall..
“If it’s your dream to have a warm family environment I don’t understand then why…are you feeling it now in your home..?”
Dumb-founded like a rabbit caught by the bright headlights in the dead of the darkest night…
Deep within I knew the answer.
FACT: Things hasn’t been more depressing than ever in the home front.
From a home it’s now just a house.
Once loving, caring, compassionate, joyous, togetherness relationships. Now turned strangers.
The cherished moments spent together faded into memories. Soon to be distant memories.
“Where is the love?”
What else is there which matters in life?
…when your heart is broken, dreams shattered.. and you’re left wondering why are you still here?
An excerpt of my final Editor’s note:
…….As we left, I was sure to look him in the eye and smile. I wanted him know I saw him … that he wasn’t invisible and that he was appreciated by a fellow traveller. In the briefest of moments, I wanted him to know he went from stranger to friend.
I hope when he goes home tonight and slips into his cold sheets that this good man feels loved and perchance his world might feel a little less lonely.
Pop’s words, “be nice to each other” are etched in my heart and soul. For, if we can’t be nice to each other, nothing else matters.
I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.
Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes. But for I have learned, God’s love never changes; through it all.
My heart is overflowing with gratitude to think that a loving Lord who knew his “child” is running into trouble and would inspire this good woman to do, feel and love in a manner unexpected and unorthodox for her, so His “child” could find a little comfort.
Just like that old man, slip under the blanket, and fall asleep feeling the warmth in her heart knowing that someone cares, unconditionally.
Perhaps when we look back on our lives, from that place that feels so far away, the events we experienced through darkness will be made light as noon day. Then, and perhaps only then, it will finally be seen … the times we felt most alone, we in fact walked with heavenly beings. Someone like B1… 🙂
Donks.. thank you for walking this journey with me and sticking by me in spite of everything. You didn’t have to, you have so much going on, lionkey, the wedding, papa lion, but yet you stayed. I swear it’s true…i wouldn’t have made it till this date if it wasn’t for you..
Much pride needed to be swallowed adding this to my list of things I’ve learned as a “twenty-fiver”, not gonna lie.
I’ve always been one of those kids who needed to learn the hard way and this is what I’ve learned: more often than not, your mom knows you better than anyone…maybe even better than you know yourself. Nine times out of ten, my mom was right. It would have saved me a hell of a lot of heartache had I listened to her, and she may have one or two less grey hairs on her head (Sorry, Mum Darling!)
“….You are very lucky. You are blessed with an extraordinarily powerful mind. You have the equivalent of a Ferrari engine for a brain. That’s why you are a major winner in the making, a potential champion. But you must address one major problem. You have the brakes of a bicycle; you have difficulty controlling the power of your brain. Sometimes it runs away with you, so you may crash into walls or fail to slow down or stop when you should. This can cost you the race.
The key is to slow down….”
Whoever said that best friends were the chocolate chips of life was definitely onto something. They’re the sweetness, sprinkled in between the muck of life – they’re the cause for celebration and excitement; they’re with you, always, even when you’re sure you don’t need them (but you always do).
Best friends are… well, best friends are everything.
You always think you know how much you need and appreciate them, but then the thing happens to you that you’re not ready to handle alone and suddenly, swiftly and unapologetically, you realize just how life-saving a friendship with your favorite person really is.
We weave in and out of touch, sometimes just hours and other times, we let the chaos of life and love and family and work carve out deep craters of space, yet we fill them quickly and absentmindedly.
But life happens and it wedges itself in between, into small crevices and swiftly into small holes; in places we never even thought to safeguard. But magically, without fail, best friendships prevail, navigating their way through.
And, all along, we make promises to each other. Some spoken out loud and some silently promised. We make them to each other and for each other because we love, respect and want more than anything to protect one another.
We make these promises because we want to know that something gold can stay. We make them because we know that nothing and no one will ever love us this good, this wholesomely, this proudly, this honestly.
1. I promise to disagree with you often, love you always and respect whatever it is you decide.
2. I promise to tell you that he’s all wrong for you, but support you regardless
3. I promise to take the fall for something you did – knowing full well that you’d do it for me in a heartbeat.
4. I promise to laugh at you when you fall: down the stairs, at a party, on the sidewalk, on the catwalk. I promise to laugh so hard I actually start to pee a little.
5. I promise to tell you when you’re making a mistake – and then help you get out of it.
6. I promise to remind you, always, that things could be worse.
7. I promise to protect you from others – and sometimes even from yourself.
8. I promise to be there when you need me, to come running as fast as I can and to be with you in spirit, in person or on the phone, so you’re never experiencing the tough stuff alone.
9. I promise never to bite my tongue and always to tell you how I feel – especially about the heinous pink top and those hideous sequined pants.
10. I promise to stand up for you, stand up to you and stand with you, even when I have no clue what we’re standing for.
12. I promise always to be your right-hand woman, your partner in crime, the yin to your yang, the Bert to your Ernie – no matter how many years it’s been since college or how long has passed since the last time we blacked out together.
13. I promise never to assume you want to share that chocolate bar, that pint of ice cream or that jar of Nutella – so I’ll just bring two instead.
14. I promise to let you run off and lose yourself, find yourself, reinvent and reimagine yourself, but I promise never to let you get so far as to forget your way home.
15. I promise to make you want more, to make you reach for more, to make you want to do better than the shoes you’re standing in now — even when you don’t know what you want.
16. I promise to love you, unconditionally, through every high, low, peak and valley life takes us through.
Foraging through the thick and thin
Hope; faith; God; where art thou?
Who and what hath I turned to?
Yes, my heart is broken to smashing smitherins at the moment.
But I have bigger dreams to catch. But that only means more storm to weather, extensive battlefields to hold my shield against. But whatever it is, I am ever-ready!
For the sum of my dreams and aspirations are larger than the problems itself and the tears brought upon by yesteryears shall be washed away with the bigger picture comprising of sheer joy, love and being loved.
Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C’s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.
– Walt Disney
IMHO, self-confidence can make or break a first impression. Yes, it matters. No matter how jittery you’re feeling inside, you just have to sum up all the strength widen to fake it.
Fake it and you’ll be just it! Trust me, most of the people I meet tell me how amazed they are by my confidence level. It’s really just the matter of simply tuning your mind to ease into your part of the play.
It’s two minutes past 1.00 AM.
There’s a whole long list of to-dos written on the post-it note still stuck beside the control pad of my laptop, dated yesterday. And I’m thoroughly knackered from the lack of sleep last night and my meds.
But well, on the brighter side of life, I’m a happy busy!
OK, OK, c’mon, MC, buck up already!